We've decided to be pretty open to people about our plans to sell our house and pursue egg donation. At this point the people we haven't told about our infertility issues probably assume something's up if we've been married almost 5 years and don't have kids yet. They can't think we hate kids; I'm a teacher and Gavin is a coach. At least I hope people don't think that. Plus, the more people we tell about our house, the faster it will sell!
I suppose when we say, we're selling our house to do IVF with an egg donor, they go home talking about us, "if they have to sell their house to do IVF, how are they going to afford a kid?" My husband is the financial planner in our house (he doesn't like the nickname big daddy)! He has thought all of this through, that I know for sure. Yes, we could do this without selling our house, and cutting back on things and using our savings. We just feel that selling helps us afford the $24,000 bill and leaves us in the best financial situation if it works or doesn't work to find another house or look into other options.
We also decided a couple years ago that infertility is stressful enough on a marriage and we are not going to sit at home and miss out on things we love just to save money for fertility procedures. If that means going out with friends, going to a hockey or baseball game, going to a concert, or taking a weekend trip, we're still going to go. We would regret it if we said no to those things just to save money.
This winter, my parents were down south in warmer weather when I called and told them our plans. My dad said, "Sweetie, don't sell your house. How much do you need?" I teared up hearing this, even though I don't know if he was being serious. I know they want to help, but the money isn't our only reason for selling. Selling our house is a new start for us. It was in that basement on a snow day from school that I got the call saying our IVF cycle didn't work. It was in the living room where we laid and cried for an entire day when we got home from the doctor's office after finding out we were having a miscarriage. The bedroom where my mom laid with me after the D and C. The bathroom where I've had too many negatives to count. This was our first house together and we have many wonderful memories too, but we need a fresh start.