Sunday, May 27, 2012

Marathon Weekend

Last weekend was the big marathon weekend here.  Friday, my best friend, Kacee, arrived and we went for pedicures after school.  That night was the 5K.  I had a group at school doing the 5K this year.  We have been planning and getting ready for months.  The students I work with I special needs and this isn't something they've done before.  Kacee came along and it was fun to introduce her to my kids and have her see what I do everyday. We had t-shirts made that said R.I.S.K.  It stands for running in-spired kids and of course we've also been talking about taking a risk.  It was a great night and they all crossed the finish line and got their medals.  They were a pretty big deal on Monday wearing their medals!  I am so proud of them.  

Saturday morning I ran the half marathon.  This was my 6th half and I finished in 2 hours 34 minutes, which isn't my best time, but about what I was expecting for the amount of training I got in with the house stuff going on.  I felt good though.  I went for bloody mary's and bingo after the race with my husband and his parents.  Kacee and I went out later that night to celebrate.  I didn't take many pictures, but here are a couple.

My friend Molly and I after the 5K.

My mother-in-law and I after finishing the half 

Celebrating with Kacee


On the Market

Our house is officially on the market and here is how it's been going so far.  

We put it on Craigs.list on Thursday May 17 with a link to a website about our house that the hubby made.  Then, on Friday we had some handouts made and on Saturday we put out the For Sale By Owner sign.  On, Sunday a realtor called and brought over a young couple.  That was our first showing.  We had a showing set up for Monday, but they didn't show.  Tuesday night, hubby had 4 calls from one lady who finally left a message on the fourth call.  He was playing softball, so couldn't answer.  She came with her dad (who will be buying a house for her) on Tuesday, stayed for an hour and had a lot of good things to say.  We had a third showing on Wednesday and that person also had a lot of nice things to say, but has a house to sell before she can buy.  On Friday, the lady from Wed. brought her dad, mom, husband and 4 kids.  Again, they stayed for an hour and had great things to say:  "beautiful  home", "I can picture us here", "it just feels like home."  They were even picking out bedrooms for the kids and deciding where to put things in my kitchen cupboards.  Their 5 year old son came and talked to us when the parents were looking at the basement.  Gavin asked what he was up to this weekend and he said, "we're moving here."  His twin told us, "the basement is awesome, we could really play wii down there."  I was pretty sure it was sold.  They told us they would call on Saturday.  We then showed it again Friday night, but she was just browsing, not seriously looking yet.  

So, Saturday morning, Gavin went to play softball and I went to the gym.  I sent a text to see if he'd heard anything.  I was secretly planning how I wanted to celebrate that night.  His text back said, "they're passing.  no joke."   I couldn't believe it.  I was so sure that after 5 years, things were turning around for us and it was going to start to get easy.  We were crushed.  Of course after that news, I have to go shopping for a baby shower gift.  I couldn't handle it and bought a gift card.  Gavin gave me a pep talk:  the house has nothing to do with the baby shower, it's only been on the market a week, etc.  I took a bath, relaxed, said some prayers, and went to the baby shower.   

I'm not sure this for sale by owner is for me.  I guess I can't think it's sold until the money is in the bank not when they pick out rooms.  Hopefully people see it in the paper this weekend and we'll have some more calls and showings.   


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Why sell our house

We've decided to be pretty open to people about our plans to sell our house and pursue egg donation.  At this point the people we haven't told about our infertility issues probably assume something's up if we've been married almost 5 years and don't have kids yet.  They can't think we hate kids; I'm a teacher and Gavin is a coach.  At least I hope people don't think that.  Plus, the more people we tell about our house, the faster it will sell!

I suppose when we say, we're selling our house to do IVF with an egg donor, they go home talking about us, "if they have to sell their house to do IVF, how are they going to afford a kid?"  My husband is the financial planner in our house (he doesn't like the nickname big daddy)!  He has thought all of this through, that I know for sure.  Yes, we could do this without selling our house, and cutting back on things and using our savings.  We just feel that selling helps us afford the $24,000 bill and leaves us in the best financial situation if it works or doesn't work to find another house or look into other options.

We also decided a couple years ago that infertility is stressful enough on a marriage and we are not going to sit at home and miss out on things we love just to save money for fertility procedures.  If that means going out with friends, going to a hockey or baseball game, going to a concert, or taking a weekend trip, we're still going to go.  We would regret it if we said no to those things just to save money.  

This winter, my parents were down south in warmer weather when I called and told them our plans.  My dad said, "Sweetie, don't sell your house.  How much do you need?"  I teared up hearing this, even though I don't know if he was being serious.  I know they want to help, but the money isn't our only reason for selling.  Selling our house is a new start for us.  It was in that basement on a snow day from school that I got the call saying our IVF cycle didn't work.  It was in the living room where we laid and cried for an entire day when we got home from the doctor's office after finding out we were having a miscarriage.  The bedroom where my mom laid with me after the D and C.  The bathroom where I've had too many negatives to count.  This was our first house together and we have many wonderful memories too, but we need a fresh start.    

Monday, May 14, 2012

On the list

I talked to the coordinator for egg donation today at our fertility clinic.  We are officially on the list for an egg donor match!  She is looking for a gal with "dark brown hair, blue eyes, of average height, and trim build."  And great eggs.  They had a black and white picture of me and the doctor must have told her some information; I wouldn't have said trim build had she asked me.  She just asked my eye color and it did feel a little weird, like I was ordering something over the phone.  I'll take one with blue eyes.

In other news, my mom was here this weekend to help with the house stuff.  She worked her ass off, poor thing.  Even on mother's day.  We went out to eat Saturday night and when she went to the bathroom Gavin said, "I'm so glad your mom came to help.  You would have never done all that by yourself."  I can't even get mad that he said that because there is no telling what I would have been up to if she weren't here this weekend.  Maybe shopping.  He also said that he looked over once as he was working in the yard and there she was up on a ladder, cleaning windows and he was wondering where I was then.  Probably switching songs on the ipod or something.  Thanks mom, you're the best!

Projects done this weekend:  house cleaned, windows cleaned, staging, yard work, flowers planted, a few boxes put away, outside trim painted.  My house has never been this clean and there were a couple cleaning projects when I told my mom "this has never been done."  We've lived here almost 6 years...

All that's left is to take some pictures and put a sign out front!  12 more days of school and then I'll be starting my summer job as a realtor.  Wish us luck for a quick sale.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Productive Weekend

We got a lot of stuff done around the house this weekend to get it ready for sale!  Such a good feeling.  We still had time to go out for a few beers Friday night, I got a 10 mile run in, we went out to breakfast with Gav's parents, and I worked my part-time job for 11 hours.

House accomplishments for the weekend include:

  • Basement bathroom cleaned and "staged"
  • Garage cleaned out
  • Upstairs closets cleaned out and boxed up things we won't need
  • Upstairs furniture moved to garage or dining room (carpet cleaners coming tomorrow)
  • Upstairs carpets vacuumed and baseboards cleaned
  • Replaced a couple fence posts 
  • Laundry
  • Removed a couple cement boulders that have been sitting around for 2 years
It's spring clean-up week here so pretty much anything can be put out and the garbage trucks will pick it up.  Perfect timing for us.  We planned to get rid of our upstairs furniture after we sold the house because it's not in very good shape and not worth moving and storing.  We decided to put it out for clean-up week and borrow some furniture to stage just to get rid of it.  Within about 5 minutes of setting it by the street, a couple of young fellows in a red pick-up came and grabbed the couch and matching chaise.  Damn it, I probably could have gotten 20 bucks if I'd waited.  I had to get a picture on the couch as it was my first big purchase with my first teacher paycheck.  This couch was also special for Benson because it was so comfy and he napped there for hours everyday while we were at work.  Of course he is also the reason it's not in good shape.  I'm a little sentimental!  

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

First Consult Appointment

By first consult appointment, I mean first since we've decided to pursue an egg donor.  I can't count how many appointments we've had with an RE.  I know this is doctor number 3 and clinic number 2.  I'm really happy with how the appointment went.  He explained the process, which we mostly knew from a packet of information we had sent to us and we asked questions.  He feels this is a good option for us, but he also said he hasn't given up on my eggs.  We could have just had a bad batch with our IVF, but he does understand our reasoning for donor eggs and said the chances are much greater with donor eggs.  It was still nice to hear that I might have a few good eggs in me!  He also said that there is no reason to think that my uterus and body can't carry a baby.  I've always been worried that maybe my body just can't do it, but this made me feel positive about going forward.  The clinic's results for 2010 are recently out and they were at almost 80% success rate for donor eggs.  

The gal who organizes the donor egg process will be calling me on Monday to start setting up pre-screening appointments (which isn't a lot beings we've done so much already over the years) and get us on the donor waiting list.  If all goes well and we find a donor match, we should be set to go in September if we're ready!  I will be able to do most appointments in the clinic here, but Gavin will need to make one stop this summer to their clinic.  I'm hoping I can turn this into a little getaway for a night or two!  Praying that this appointment is a sign for good things to come!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The other time I was going to start a blog

I've been following infertility blogs for about 4 years; when I first went to Dr. google to find out why we weren't pregnant yet.  I've found so many blogs during that time that I've loved and learned from.  For me, finally starting my own blog was a grieving process and I'm now to the point where I wish I would have our journey so far documented, more than just that big binder of medical bills.  

The first time I seriously considered starting a blog, I was at my parents farm for a visit one summer, maybe 2009.  I want to say it was after our last injections cycle before moving to IVF.  Of course that would be information I would know if I'd really started then.  Anyway, I was out for a walk on the gravel roads enjoying the peace and quiet, dreaming of someday bringing kids back to the farm, and praying that the procedure we just did would work.  Probably cried more than once on that walk, damn 2 week wait.  On that walk, I told myself:  "if this one works, I'm starting a family blog."  You know the blog to show my bump pictures and keep family and friends up to date on our nursery and ultrasounds.  I also told myself that if this one didn't work, I would start an infertility blog.  Well, that cycle didn't work, but I am just getting to that blog now.  I've been in denial and grieving that family blog for awhile, but I'm here now, and ready to start sharing and documenting our new journey.