Sunday, November 25, 2012

13 Weeks

Today marks the start of 13 weeks!  Almost out of the first trimester.  Here are the updates.

Little one:  Fingerprints have formed on baby's little fingers and veins and organs are visible through the still thin skin.  The body is growing and catching up to the oversized head and is the size of a medium shrimp, about 3 inches long.  If it's a girl, she would have 2 million eggs in her ovaries by now, I hope they are good eggs!

Momma:  The biggest news is that meds are all done.  I took the 4 alarms off my phone and today just took my vitamin like a regular pregnant gal.  Such a relief to be done.  I've been feeling great and my bump is getting to be less bloat and more firm.  I'm up about 6 pounds since starting meds in August.  Friday night we went out to hang out with some of my classmates back home.  Just as I was taking my coat off, someone said, "you're already showing?"  To which I quickly replied that it's because of the medications I've had to take.  Then someone said, "it's mostly your boobs."  Then someone else said, "yeah your  boobs are bigger."   These are male classmates, but we've been friends since childhood so it's totally normal, I think.  Gavin and I had just talked about the poor placement of a pocket on that sweater before we left, should have changed!

Daddy:  Not much news for daddy.  We bought a few more hockey team items on Friday, a little hat and onesie.  Then, on our way home from the bar that night after a few drinks, he said we should have gotten the little booties we saw too.  He'd never seen anything so small.  Pretty cute!  He also read in his book that mom's can do pretty much the same level of exercise that they were doing before pregnancy.  Whatever daddy, we'll see if I'm up to it this week!

13 weeks!  Do you think I can still keep it a secret at work?

Loading up the last shot.  Then, we went out to eat to celebrate!


Are you making guesses?  It is impossible for our little one to split and divide into triplets at this point, so it's not us.  No, we're not getting another dog.   

By triplets, I mean cousin triplets!  My sister is expecting twins!  She is due 6 days after us, of course twins come early.  Do you remember the day after our transfer when we went to lunch with my sister and brother-in-law at a place called Lucky's, hoping to bring luck for implantation?  We weren't the only ones hoping to be lucky that day, my sister had an IUI that day.  I know, 2 of us in one family, it's not fair.  

We then spent the next 2 weeks waiting together.  The day we had our blood-work and were at my parents, I told my sister, "it worked."  She said. "so did ours."    It was a wonderful moment and I will never forget it.  At the beginning of the summer, my sister and I had gone to lunch and she told me they were going to see a fertility doctor.  I didn't want to hear that my little sister was starting to go through this too, but I tried to be helpful and optimistic for her.  At this point we were in the works of getting our egg donor.  That day she also told me that a few weeks ago she had a dream that we were pregnant together.  I hoped that dream would come true more that anything.  

Then, there we were in September a few days before our transfer and my sister realizes the IUI they have planned is going to be the day after our transfer.  You never know the exact day of those until a few days before.  She offered to cancel, they weren't in $25, 000, but I didn't want that, this was meant to be.    

My sister and I have cousins close in age to us and have many great memories growing up with them.  More sleepovers than we could count.  Cousins are usually your first friends as kids.  I couldn't be happier that these cousins will be so close in age.  Especially beings our little one most likely won't have siblings.  I can't imagine my life without my brother and sister, and I want our little one to have the next best thing.  Now you know another reason why I am extra thankful this holiday season.  I don't know that in infertility time there is a difference between 6 months, 5 years, or 10 years; they are all hard.  I'm so glad that my little sister didn't have to deal with another minute of the hardship though.  I'm so happy that we are going through our pregnancies together and then parenting.  

As my dad said many times this weekend, next year is going to be pretty wild! 

Friday, November 23, 2012

Extra Thankful this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday, one of the two at least.  As kids we would take an extra day of school off and take turns traveling to see family we usually only saw twice a year.  One year a 9 hour road trip to see my aunt and cousin and the next year 10 hours the other direction to see my aunt, uncle, and cousins.  Then, our college years and since we've usually come home to see other family that live near my parents.

Even two years ago when my grandma was in the hospital over thanksgiving, we were sad, but we were all together and memories were still made.  That is a thanksgiving I will never forget.  Gavin had seen my sister and I in a very vulnerable spot, crying and asking God to make her well and begging my grandma to be strong and come back to us.  That night (I know grandma had a part of this) Gavin and I had a night that brought us closer than any other night I can remember.  We laughed, cried, and talked until the morning about everything, including things we'd never said about our miscarriage that summer.  I was so thankful to be married to him.

Now, let's take a moment to remember last Thanksgiving, can't forget that one.  We had decided to do meds and an IUI that cycle.  I had an ultrasound that Tuesday and my follicles were ready to go, but this would mean an IUI on thanksgiving day which the clinic didn't do.  So this left us triggering Tuesday night and the doctor recommending timed intercourse (10 am) on Thanksgiving day.  We were upset, but didn't have a choice and at least the meds were cheap.  We decided to make the best of it and hope to have a funny story someday.  So, there we were at my sister's house Thanksgiving morning.  I had my mom and sister keeping guard in the kitchen while they were cooking.  They were all business beings we had doctor's orders!  Unfortunately, we had a BFN (big fat negative).  This was our last IUI before seriously deciding to go all in and talk to our doctor about using an egg donor.

What a difference a year makes.  This year we have so much to be thankful for.  I've been waiting years for a Thanksgiving like yesterday.  I got to tell my grandpa that we were expecting, actually I got to tell him several times because he has dementia.  Each time, he was so happy and just wanted to be sure that we would let him know and send a picture.  I got a few phone calls from people back home who are so excited and happy for us.

Me and Grandpa

We also celebrated Christmas  beings my parents will be gone then.

Monday, November 19, 2012


I started grieving my eggs back in the spring of 2010 so I was completely ready by the time we made the decision last winter to go ahead with an egg donor.  This summer we had to talk with the social worker from our clinic to make sure we weren't crazy and knew what we were getting to.  At the time we were frustrated in the waste of time and of course that phone call wasn't free or covered by insurance.  Lately I've been thinking about some of the things she said.  I knew I was ready and committed to finding and going ahead with an egg donor, but I did wonder how I would feel if it worked or when the baby came, even feared that I would always feel a little less connected.  She reassured me that the donor is only giving tissue that could be nothing without me or Gavin and said that the baby would always be a part of me too.  I feel like all summer I thought about our donor and as soon as I was in stirrups and the embryos were in me, they were mine.  I mean ours, of course!  I even started to forget about our donor until at our last appointment, when I had to bring the paperwork or her medical history.   It just seemed like information though, but my baby.  I will always remember the sacrifices that "Donna" made and the blessing she has given us, but baby will only be ours.

Now to totally switch gears, just a couple side notes about getting to 12 weeks.  I don't feel like doing a separate post.  I called the clinic to make sure I didn't need any more blood work done before stopping meds on the 24th.  I also wanted to be sure if that meant Friday or Saturday would be my last day, hoping Friday.  It's Saturday and I don't need any tests run before stopping.  I feel like we should have a party after that last shot Saturday night.  They also said to send pictures next summer, they are done with me!  My parents had a potluck at their church yesterday and now that my dad has the go ahead to tell people, I can about imagine the announcement made before the meal.  I hope my belly gets bigger before I'm home for Thanksgiving because he's so excited and I want to have something to show him.  We got our first bill that was completely paid for by insurance.  Now that I'm just a regular pregnant patient that's how it will be.  This is a new and exciting experience for us.  

Have a great Thanksgiving!  I will be posting something exciting after the holiday, but want to wait to post with a picture.  Stay tuned!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

11 Weeks

Today we begin our 11th week.  Here are the updates!

Baby:  According to the pregnancy app on my phone, baby is about the size of a fig (just over 1 1/2 inches long.  His or her bones are beginning to harden and hands will soon open and close into fists and he or she is already busy kicking and stretching.  Can't wait to feel that in a few months!  Still working on a little nickname for baby while on the inside.

Momma:  My gagging and dry-heaving stopped just before 10 weeks.  Now, I'm just gagging if I get a whiff of a gross or strong smell.  This morning I woke up with some red blotches on my face that I thought were from crying last night, I'm a little emotional.  However, my mom and Gav's mom informed me that I can expect changes to my skin, hair, nails, etc. from the hormones.  I'm still counting down the days for the meds to be done, but other than that, I can't complain.  Here is our first bump pic!  Let's keep in mind the meds I've been on since the beginning of August before saying things like, "Do most gals have a belly at 11 weeks?"  Also, don't worry, I'm getting a haircut this week.

Daddy:  Cool and calm, still not getting too excited, just in case.  He's keeping an eye out for houses and figuring the numbers, but the area we are looking in is very limited.  Big daddy thinks a good "nick"name for the baby while on the inside would be Nick.  He's hoping for a boy if you didn't know!  Today he was reading a few pages from his expectant father book, pretty cute.  Hopefully there was a chapter about dealing with your crying wife.

Thanks for checking in!  Pretty excited to start some weekly posts, I wasn't sure if I'd ever have the chance.  We are so blessed!

Monday, November 5, 2012

A Rainbow

I'm really going to sound like a country girl with this post, but whatever; it's my blog.

Sometimes I like to listen to one of our radio stations that only plays old country music.  I love the way a song can trigger a memory and old country songs trigger memories for me.  My dad still only listens to the old stuff.  He doesn't like any of "that new shit."  A few weeks ago, I was driving home from my part time job listening to that station and heard a song that didn't trigger a memory, but instead gave me hopes of a new memory.  It went something like: "If we're ever gonna see a rainbow, we've gotta stand a little rain."  The song made me think of the rain we've stood in these last 5 years, even a few storms, but I hoped that we would soon see a rainbow.

Today, we got our third look at the babe at our appt.  I finally get to show you because they printed a picture for us this time.  Introducing our rainbow!

10 weeks 1 day
The picture isn't great because it was taken in the doctor's office so I don't think the equipment is as good.  This was our first appointment with an OB.  First he tried to listen to the heartbeat with the doppler, but no luck.  Which was fine, he said that might happen because the baby is so small.  Then, he tried ultrasound on my belly.  Still nothing, and I was getting a little nervous.  So he had to go in with the wand, and then we could see everything is fine.  Turns out my uterus is tilted back and makes everything hard to see or hear still.  I'm starting to wonder if any of my insides are normal.  He also didn't see that clot so hopefully it has disappeared.  I thought I had my countdown for the end of my shots to 14, but found out they go until the end of 12 weeks.  Dang it will be a few more, but I will rally through for the babe.  The rest of the appointment was fine.  Everything is right on track and we'll go back in 4 weeks.

Speaking of old country songs, I should get going.  I think I can hear my husband singing, "lay you down and softly whisper pretty love words in your ear."  Just kidding, but pelvic restrictions have been lifted!