Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Poor Baby #2, Poor Baby #1, Poor Fur Baby

Gavin and I have said a few times during this pregnancy that this poor second baby has been neglected.  First of all we missed the first 18 weeks of pregnancy.  We still don't have a name picked out.  I've knitted 2 rows of a blanket.  We had nothing set up, except what we just left out of Bayden's, until 2 weeks ago when my mom was here to help with getting the newborn stuff back out.  I think this is common with the second child, but when we sometimes can't believe this is really happening, we are maybe worse!  Of course we have everything we need having another girl, so this baby will be just fine!

Yesterday driving home from my appointment for baby number 2, I teared up thinking about my baby at home.  Doctor checked me yesterday and said, "wow, baby is really low."  Kind of like that ultrasound, "wow, baby is bigger than 8 weeks."  I am 1.5 cm dilated and 90% effaced.  Could be any day.  When I said my next appointment is next Wednesday, she said, "we'll probably see you before then."  She didn't seem worried, I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow.  She is just happy I made it this far and said I've done great.

Of course we couldn't be happier about this little surprise about to make us a family of 4, I can't help but worry about Bayden.  We say, "where's the baby?" and she lifts up my shirt and pats my stomach.  It's so damn cute, but she has no idea what it means.  Things are about to be really different for her.  I know she will be great and adjust just fine, but she's been our everything the last 15 months.  She always will be our everything, but so will another little gal.  The thing I am most looking forward to is seeing her walk into the hospital room in her big sister t-shirt.  Which by the way, the smallest they make of those shirts is 2T.  I guess that's how long you are supposed to wait before having number 2!  Gavin already tells her not to worry, he'll give her lots of love when I have to be with the baby.  Plenty of love for both our girls!

Then, there is our very first baby.  Poor Benson.  He knows something is up, and he doesn't like it one bit.  He's been really anxious and needy lately.  He did get 5 years with just the three of us.  He's still adjusting to Bayden.  She loves him so much and wants to be his best friend, but he isn't into it.  He will tolerate a little petting, and then just gets up and walks away.  She gives him his tennis ball, brings him his toys, feeds him from her high chair, hugs, him, pets him, and goes to his leash and whines to take him outside (this is maybe more so she can go outside though).  He just isn't interested in her at all.  But we know he loves her in his own way, he will still go sleep on the chair in her room every once in awhile and always comes along when we put her down for a nap or bedtime.  He'll adjust too, but he's older and it won't come as easy to him.

Any day now!

Saturday, July 26, 2014


Yes, Bayden is growing, doing new things everyday, and meeting milestones.  This post is actually about some pretty exciting pregnancy milestones though.  I'm still pregnant!  I guess the doctor's were right to be acting casual and not worrying at my appointments.

About 2 and a half weeks ago, we met the milestone of passing Bayden's birth of 33 weeks 4 days.  It was such a good feeling.  We celebrated by dinner out and ordering a new grill.  Since then, I've been trying to enjoy each extra day and praying that we can avoid the nicu all together.  

Last Monday I started my weekly appointments.  Another mark I never made it to with Bayden.  Doc didn't check to see if I was dilated, just measured and listened to the heartbeat.  I have been measuring about 2 weeks ahead for the last 2 appointments.  All seemed good and again, she was real relaxed and not worried about a thing.  Next appointment she will check me.  

Tuesday was my last progesterone in oil shot.  I had enough for 1 more dose, but doc said I could stop.  Glad to be done with those.  I also saw the surgeon for my hernia.  I can't really feel it anymore because there isn't much room for things to be moving around anymore.  I will see him again about a week after the baby comes to schedule my surgery.  He was surprised I was still pregnant.

Wednesday marked 35 weeks.  While, I'm so excited to be this far, I'm starting to wonder how people go full term.  I never really got to the uncomfortable stage with Bayden.  This time, I'm there.  I can't sleep because my hips hurt, I'm up to pee about 5 times, and it's a ton of work to roll over and try and get comfortable.  I have a couple other not fun end of pregnancy things going on that I won't get into here!

Here are some pics.  The first are of last week, 35 weeks.  The next pics are of the weekend after our 3rd trimester ultrasound where we found out baby could be early.  Aren't Bayden and I growing!


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Saying Good-bye

Turning one and becoming a toddler meant saying good-bye to a few of Bayden's favorite things.  It's possible that we were more attached to these than Bayden.

The week before her birthday, daycare let me know that they would start giving her smaller bottles because the day she's one, she's done with the bottle there.  It seemed so drastic, but I trusted them.  She wasn't their first baby.  We decided to continue the night time bottle at home until she had her 1 year check up.  Of course nicu mom brain was thinking "I hate to just rip all these calories away from her."  One night while giving her the bed time bottle, Gavin said, "I can't imagine not giving this to her, it makes her so happy before bed."  The Monday after her birthday, no bottle at daycare.  They said she cried when she saw the other babies getting their bottles and they would give her a sippy cup and distract her and she'd be fine.  The next day, she didn't seem to notice.  About a week later, we went in for her check up and I asked the doctor about the bottle.  He said go ahead and use up what formula we had left, but then be done.  You are more attached to it than she is and she doesn't need it.  He said to give her a sippy of a little milk and a snack instead and she'll be fine.  We probably had a week left of formula and then we kept our same routine except instead of making a bottle to bring downstairs, I brought her milk and a snack.  Didn't even phase her and we did just fine too!

The next thing was the pacifier.  She only had it at nap and at bed time, but she went to bed so good, we were scared.  We decided to wait until I was out of school in case it meant a couple rough nights.  Part of me thought just let her keep it beings it was only in her crib, but I could see her loving it a little more each day.  If we were in her room and she saw it in her crib, she would try and reach for it.  Then there is the issue of another baby coming.  I didn't want her taking the baby's pacifier.  So, one Thursday night in mid June, I put her to bed without it.  She knew right away.  I had done the usual, turned on her sound machine and music, laid her down, and covered her up, but no paci.  She looked so sad, but I had to stay strong and stepped out.  I let her cry of 10 minutes and then went to try and rock her.  She wanted nothing to do with me.  I laid her back down and left.  After another 30 minutes (while I searched online for taking paci's away) I went to try and rock her again.  This time she cuddled up and fell asleep instantly.  I laid her down.  She was up about an hour and a half later, I rubbed her back and she fell back asleep for the rest of the night.  Night 2 was a little better, but she woke up at 11:00 screaming and it didn't seem like it was for her paci.  We gave her some motrin and Gavin rocked her.  The next day, she had her mouth wide open for some ice cream and we noticed a big new tooth in the back.  Sorry baby!  It took 4 nights, but now she goes down great and sleeps all night.  I suppose she'll still recognize them when the baby comes, but she is so much cuter without a paci in her mouth!

So, Bayden is ready to be a big sister!  Not for another 7 weeks though!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

I Guess We Aren't "Really Worried"

We had our 30 week appointment (a week and a half ago).  I went in assuming I would get more specific instructions for "taking it easy" and getting the steroid shots set up.  Doctor was really casual, like I was just a regular pregnant gal in the third trimester.  I asked about the steroid shots and she said, "No, that would only be if we are really worried."  I thought we were really worried....

She did check me again, which surprised me too.  She said that as long as she is gentle there is no harm in checking again so that I would feel better.  At that time, I was 50 % thinned, but still not dilated.  So, good news.  She seemed to think my taking it easy was fine and there was no need to change anything.

When I was in last week for my progesterone shot I mentioned to the nurse that I thought I may have an infection.  The doctor checked for that and I guess beings she was in the area, checked me to see if there were any changes.  I was still not dilated and no infection, so more good news.

I'm thinking that after my emotional days while Bayden was in the NICU when a doctor opens my chart on the computer they see red flashing messages that say things like:


*  Only tell her good news, especially if she is alone!

*  She WILL cry!

*  Contact husband for any serious conversations!  Until he arrives, act like everything is fine!

So, I am trying not to worry and trust the doctors.  I still try and take it easy whenever I can.  I started teaching summer school last week and the staff in my room are great and help me out so that I can sit as much as possible.  I will be 32 weeks tomorrow.  I really hope to make it through July.  I have let go of my dreams of being over due.

Baby #2 is still quite active and must be growing.  Bayden and I each were told by 2 people last weekend how much we are both growing.  It's cute for her that she is plumping up, but I don't love to hear it about myself.  When I told someone my due date, but briefly explained that I will probably go early, she said, "yeah you don't look like you'll go that long."  Someone else asked me if I'm starting to wonder if I can get any bigger.

When I show Bayden my belly now and say "baby" she points or hits and says, "baby."  It's so cute!  Too bad she doesn't have any idea what it means.

I still feel pretty good, but sleep is hard.  My hips kill me during the night and it's hard to keep switching positions.  What if I get even bigger?!

Next appointment is Monday, hopefully more good news of things staying the same!