Gavin and I have said a few times during this pregnancy that this poor second baby has been neglected. First of all we missed the first 18 weeks of pregnancy. We still don't have a name picked out. I've knitted 2 rows of a blanket. We had nothing set up, except what we just left out of Bayden's, until 2 weeks ago when my mom was here to help with getting the newborn stuff back out. I think this is common with the second child, but when we sometimes can't believe this is really happening, we are maybe worse! Of course we have everything we need having another girl, so this baby will be just fine!
Yesterday driving home from my appointment for baby number 2, I teared up thinking about my baby at home. Doctor checked me yesterday and said, "wow, baby is really low." Kind of like that ultrasound, "wow, baby is bigger than 8 weeks." I am 1.5 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Could be any day. When I said my next appointment is next Wednesday, she said, "we'll probably see you before then." She didn't seem worried, I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow. She is just happy I made it this far and said I've done great.
Of course we couldn't be happier about this little surprise about to make us a family of 4, I can't help but worry about Bayden. We say, "where's the baby?" and she lifts up my shirt and pats my stomach. It's so damn cute, but she has no idea what it means. Things are about to be really different for her. I know she will be great and adjust just fine, but she's been our everything the last 15 months. She always will be our everything, but so will another little gal. The thing I am most looking forward to is seeing her walk into the hospital room in her big sister t-shirt. Which by the way, the smallest they make of those shirts is 2T. I guess that's how long you are supposed to wait before having number 2! Gavin already tells her not to worry, he'll give her lots of love when I have to be with the baby. Plenty of love for both our girls!
Then, there is our very first baby. Poor Benson. He knows something is up, and he doesn't like it one bit. He's been really anxious and needy lately. He did get 5 years with just the three of us. He's still adjusting to Bayden. She loves him so much and wants to be his best friend, but he isn't into it. He will tolerate a little petting, and then just gets up and walks away. She gives him his tennis ball, brings him his toys, feeds him from her high chair, hugs, him, pets him, and goes to his leash and whines to take him outside (this is maybe more so she can go outside though). He just isn't interested in her at all. But we know he loves her in his own way, he will still go sleep on the chair in her room every once in awhile and always comes along when we put her down for a nap or bedtime. He'll adjust too, but he's older and it won't come as easy to him.
Any day now!
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