Monday, November 19, 2012

Mine

I started grieving my eggs back in the spring of 2010 so I was completely ready by the time we made the decision last winter to go ahead with an egg donor.  This summer we had to talk with the social worker from our clinic to make sure we weren't crazy and knew what we were getting to.  At the time we were frustrated in the waste of time and of course that phone call wasn't free or covered by insurance.  Lately I've been thinking about some of the things she said.  I knew I was ready and committed to finding and going ahead with an egg donor, but I did wonder how I would feel if it worked or when the baby came, even feared that I would always feel a little less connected.  She reassured me that the donor is only giving tissue that could be nothing without me or Gavin and said that the baby would always be a part of me too.  I feel like all summer I thought about our donor and as soon as I was in stirrups and the embryos were in me, they were mine.  I mean ours, of course!  I even started to forget about our donor until at our last appointment, when I had to bring the paperwork or her medical history.   It just seemed like information though, but my baby.  I will always remember the sacrifices that "Donna" made and the blessing she has given us, but baby will only be ours.

Now to totally switch gears, just a couple side notes about getting to 12 weeks.  I don't feel like doing a separate post.  I called the clinic to make sure I didn't need any more blood work done before stopping meds on the 24th.  I also wanted to be sure if that meant Friday or Saturday would be my last day, hoping Friday.  It's Saturday and I don't need any tests run before stopping.  I feel like we should have a party after that last shot Saturday night.  They also said to send pictures next summer, they are done with me!  My parents had a potluck at their church yesterday and now that my dad has the go ahead to tell people, I can about imagine the announcement made before the meal.  I hope my belly gets bigger before I'm home for Thanksgiving because he's so excited and I want to have something to show him.  We got our first bill that was completely paid for by insurance.  Now that I'm just a regular pregnant patient that's how it will be.  This is a new and exciting experience for us.  

Have a great Thanksgiving!  I will be posting something exciting after the holiday, but want to wait to post with a picture.  Stay tuned!

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