Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Our Final 4 and 5 years

Hello!  Sorry it's been awhile.  Combination of being busy and unsure of what to post.  We are over a week in to this waiting game that is not fun, but we're dealing as best we can.

Here is the scoop on our final 4 embryos that we were waiting to here about freezing.  The day of our transfer, the embryologist said there were 4 embryos to let be for 1 more day to find out if they met qualifications for freezing.  I knew I could find out about them that Saturday after the transfer, but just forgot to call the message system.  Then, last Wednesday on my way to school I remembered them and emailed Gav to remind him.  He said, "check it and let me know."  I don't know what I was thinking calling during the school day.  Anyway, I called and found out that none of the embryos continued to grow and did not meet qualifications to freeze.  In other words, they all died and we have nothing left.  I was crushed.  We weren't expecting this at all.  It never entered our mind that we wouldn't have anything left.  Those little guys were our back-up plan, they were little brothers and sisters for a few years later.  We'd been preparing that this cycle may not work, but we never thought that we'd have nothing to freeze and we weren't prepared for this.  It may sound weird, but I was attached to them already, they were ours, and then suddenly they were gone and I felt like I had nothing.  I was in shock for awhile and then had to say it aloud so I told my friend that I teach with.  She was great and let me cry and gave me the hugs I needed and reminded me of the 2 I have inside and I can't lose hope for them.  There were a lot more tears that day and night, but we were feeling better by the next day.

In other news, we celebrated our 5 year anniversary on Saturday.  My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were in town for our college football game.  We all went up to tailgating, which was fun even though I was drinking hot tea.  The evening didn't go as planned, and if you know my husband you can guess why with tailgating involved that day.  I don't need to go into details on here in case he checks this again.  I can tell you some other time!  I did get some quality time with my cute nephew Howie though.  Anyway, we went to lunch on Sunday to celebrate instead.  I know he loves me and that's all that matters!  Plus, we've got a lot on our minds, I would have loved to be him on Saturday and just forget about it all, but I had to drink tea. 

We are continuing to wait and stay as hopeful as we can.  Gav has been doing a lot of "researching" which I wish he wasn't doing, but I've been staying away.  We just want the waiting to be over.  Thanks again for all your prayers.               


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