Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Saying it Out Loud

Besides our closest friends and family, I still am not telling many people about our pregnancy.  Most of those people found out on here, so I haven't actually said it very many times.  It still doesn't seem real.  I've only told a couple people at work, the people who knew our plan and asked.  If they hadn't asked, I wouldn't have said anything.

Last night was my last session of my bible study.  It's always the best night because there are treats, wine (I had apple cider), we find out who prayer partners are, there are special gifts handed out.  I wanted more than anything to share our praise report.  First I would have warned them that I could cry because it's an overwhelming blessing.  I wanted to share with the ladies that I started coming to bible study a couple years ago when I was struggling with understanding God's plan for us and dealing with loss.  I wanted to tell them that even though it felt too personal to share prayer requests, I always felt they were praying for me.  I wanted to thank them for that.  I wanted to announce that after a 5 year struggle with infertility, my husband and I are expecting our first baby.  But, I didn't say any of that because I am still scared that it would be that many more people to tell if something goes wrong.  Maybe I'll be braver when we start the next study in February.

I am stuck in this in-between stage of not feeling sick and not feeling movement yet and it's a scary place to be.  Our next appointment can't come soon enough to ease my worries.  That is next Friday and then I will let people at school know the following Monday.  It's getting harder and harder to hide it.  I wear a lot of the same things over and over and feel like everyone is staring at my stomach when I walk by.  My kids this year aren't very observant!

Here are a couple updates for 14 weeks and 2 days:  Little one is the size of a lemon and can squint, frown, pee, and maybe suck his/her thumb.  Momma is feeling too good, as a I stated above.  I've had some heartburn, so I'm hoping that is just a little sign that things are ok.  I've had a lot of extra time this past week now that I wasn't getting a shot, taking pills and doing "inserts" 3 times a day.  I've used all that time to start knitting a baby blanket.  I also made my first purchases of maternity clothes on cyber Monday.  Daddy said he's putting his foot down after Christmas shopping is done with the budget.  Gotta start saving for the little one!  I'd be so broke without him.

Thanks for checking in!

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