Trip #1

Our trip to the cities for Gav's turn was quick, no pun!  He had to work for a couple hours Saturday morning and then had a golf tournament for work.  We didn't leave until about 6:30 and arrived at a friend's house around 10:00.  We hung out for awhile even though it was a really early morning.  

We were up by 5:15 this morning.  I was asking if Gav was excited to give it to Donna on the way there!  This is the only time I will allow this cheating business.  You do know it doesn't happen like that right?  It doesn't really count as cheating if it happens in a petri dish is how we feel.  I guess it was a little early for my humor, because I was the only one giggling!  We were on the road for home right after, because what were we going to do before 7 am?  When we got home, we tried to take a nap and then went and had lunch and watch football.   We toasted our bloody mary's to "my only bloody mary of this football season," hopefully!

I've checked the message system to see if there was a report for Donnna, but no news.  I'm guessing she was in an hour or 2 after Gavin. During that hour or 2, his sperm was washed and spun and the good guys picked out.  She would have been put under for the eggs to be taken out.  We considered sitting in the parking lot and watching for her, but decided it wouldn't be a good idea.  I suppose there isn't a message yet today because they are busy putting everything together.  

This week we will continue to pray and wait.  Wednesday I will  know what time my appointment will be on Friday.  I assume we will be heading back on Thursday night.  Thanks for checking in!  

Sarah

"Bitter or Better; Weaker or Stronger;" and some updates

Last week for teacher workshops we had a speaker on the last day.  Every year, they bring someone in and usually it is really boring.  This year, the gal I teach next too (& good friend) had our laptops along, hoping to get some work done during the speaker.  We didn't even take them out of our bags, he was so amazing.  He's an author and award winning speaker.  He told stories about his life and I think anyone could relate to his stories.  He was inspirational to the start of our school year, but his words could really relate to any part of life.  Some of the time I was thinking about school, but come on, I have bigger things on my mind!

The thing he said that stuck out the most was something his mother told him about going through hard things in life.  For him, it was divorce.  His mother told him that we can come out of the tough things in life:  bitter or better, weaker or stronger and she prayed he would be better and stronger.  Great message!  Praying that whatever our outcome is this month, we are better and stronger for it.  He had many other great messages and I cried of course several times (damn meds) and I want to get his book.

Just a few updates from the weekend:

I went to my brother and sister-in-law's on Thursday night.  On Friday morning, I took my nephew, their black lab, and my dog home to my parents for the weekend.  Trip went smoothly (they all slept).   I spent the Friday with my grandma and nephew.  Grandma had a dr. appointment and she is doing well, visited my mom at the pharmacy and met the pharmacist who was helping with all my meds about a month ago.  Grandma took us to lunch and then we went to see my grandpa.  Great day with them and so fun to see my nephew Howie with them!  Saturday, we went to my aunt and uncle's cabin to see more family and friends.  Not the best lake weather, but so great to see everyone.  They are all following the blog and thinking of us, so that was great to hear.  Sunday was church and then back to my brother's, and then home last night.

Donna the Donor had an appointment on Friday.  The message system said that day that things were progressing nicely and I should continue with my med plan.  She went in again on Sunday.  Things are  progressing REALLY well and she may be ready earlier than we originally thought.  I will go in on Wednesday instead of Friday for an ultrasound to make sure my uterus is keeping up with her eggs in case things go down earlier than planned.  They may increase my meds if needed.  We are happy with Donna's progress, but I haven't gotten any numbers yet.  They just keep saying things like "progressing nicely" and this is "good news," but I'd like to know how many follicles and size, but maybe they will share that on Wednesday.  Just have to trust the doctor and nurses, and be thankful that everything is going smoothly.

I will update Wednesday night!

Sarah

Looking Good!

By looking good, I do not mean me on the first day back to workshops at school today.  I was bloated, chunky, and have a few more hairs on my chin.  Thank you fertility meds!  At least no one said anything to my face.

But really, thank you fertility meds because by looking good, I mean mine and Donna's ovaries.  All 4 of them!  We were both in for our down-regulation ultrasounds and blood-work this morning, in different cities.  Everything looked good, all ovaries were "resting" and our bodies are ready to be geared back up.  She will start ovary stimulating meds tomorrow morning.  I will start the estrogen pills to build the lining of my uterus.  I will continue my lupron shots, but a lower dose.  My poor belly has bruises and I think I have at least 10 more days of this shot.  They don't hurt and I started school today, so no more belly-baring shirts anyway.  I'll be okay.  I will get another report this Friday to see how Donna is doing because she will be in for another ultrasound.   I will go in again on the 7th and that afternoon we will have the rest of the game plan for when Donna will ovulate and when the hubby and I need to be in the cities. Prayers for lots of eggs!  Come on Donna!

Have a good week - Sarah

Prayers

I grew up going to church most Sunday's.  Since college, going to church has always made me feel close to home and I like going.  I should be better about going, but the summer is hard.  I enjoy doing the women's bible studies at my church.  I pray and read devotionals to myself.  Something that I've never been comfortable with yet is praying aloud with other people.

The last bible study I did we had "prayer partners" throughout the study.  We were given the name of someone in the group and were to keep that person in our prayers over the weeks of the bible study.  On the last night as part of our celebration, in small groups we stood in the front and called our prayer partner up by name.  It had been a secret for most people.   The person came up and we were to put a hand on their shoulder and say a prayer for them in person.  This was WAY out of my comfort zone.  Of course I did it, but I just kept thinking that if I could have written her a card instead it would have been much better.  And I almost started tearing up praying for someone I barely knew, but had been praying for over a couple months.  Something about saying prayers aloud, makes me cry.

I still remember being minutes from walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid in my 2nd cousin's wedding.  Praying on the spot and aloud is a strength of hers and I admire it so much.  She was a counselor at bible camp, so maybe she learned this skill there.  She said, let's say a prayer and she started a prayer for her new marriage and her husband.  Two bridesmaids jumped in too.  I started crying immediately and was anxious about what I would say.  Of course I had a lot to say to her on her wedding day, but again would rather write it in a note.  It was so great to be a part of.  We ended up getting called by the pastor, so I didn't have to say anything.  Amen!

Anyway...  This spring I sent this 2nd cousin an email about my blog so she could follow along if she wanted.  She read it all that night and emailed me the very next day.  She has been so supportive and possibly my most faithful follower!  In that email, she didn't just say "I'm praying for you."  She sent me the actual prayer that she was saying for us.  It meant so much to me.  Love you Lyndee!

I am sharing it with you now in case you need a starting place with your prayers like I do; and we need some prayers now, folks.  I guess it is also a song from Bible Camp so if you'd rather sing, go right ahead!

God will make a way
when there seems to be no way

God works in ways we cannot see
God will make a way for me

Christ will be my guide
hold me closely to his side

With love and hope for each new day
God will make a way

Our specific prayer requests:

• For our bodies:  That Donna the Donor and I respond to medications to prepare our bodies and stay healthy.  That Gavin stays healthy.
• For our mental health - that we can stay strong and positive and continue to be at our best in the other areas of our lives (work, school, family life)
• For the strength of our marriage 
• For the doctor's and nurses' minds and hands as they take care of Donna, me, and our embryos
• For positive results and a healthy pregnancy

Thank  you so much for your prayers.  Love - Sarah

Date Night

Last night we signed paperwork with a notary for the egg donor process.  We had to make decisions about what happens to our embryos if something happens to one or both of us.  I put all the paperwork in the mail today.  Then, we went and grabbed dinner and drinks and came home to watch the movie that we both fell asleep about 10 minutes in on Sunday night.  Couldn't stay awake Sunday night after a wonderful weekend of golf, lakes, horse races, and sun!  Thursday morning I have a phone conference appointment to go over all medications that I will be on and hopefully find out about getting those ordered.  It's coming fast!

Have a great week!  - Sarah

Updates

This final week of the move had me so busy, I haven't been able to even read blogs let alone update mine.  I have lots of updates to share so I'm putting in bullet points.  Might need a glass of wine or something for this read!

• House update:  Last week were our last days in our house.   I was busy packing all day and night it seemed.  Tuesday, I mowed our yard for the last time too.  Which was sad because I do love to mow and we loved that yard and know we will never have a yard that big.  Wednesday was the day and we had to have everything out.  It was a weird day just walking through the empty rooms, making sure we had everything.  Gav came home from work and loaded the last load of boxes into his brother's truck; I was crying in the kitchen.  The 3 of us had one last beer at Meyer Blvd. and Gav took a few last boxes to the storage unit and I called my sister and cried some more.  Gav got back and we sat on the porch and waited for the new buyer's son to come and do a final walk-thru, I was crying again.  He had sunglasses on, but he might have been tearing up a little under there too.  To cheer me up, he said: "now you'll get pregnant and we'll buy my parents house and you can live next to your favorite friend forever."  I hope that's how it works out!  We went to set up a few things at our new "apartment" in my in-law's basement and went and grabbed some food and a beer.  Since then, we are pretty much set up.  We have a few things to move over to the storage unit, but need to see what will fit in our new "apartment" first.  I will post pics when we are all settled in.
• Distractions update:  Last weekend Gavin was invited to play in a fast-pitch tournament in Wisconsin.  I figured if he was leaving town our last weekend, I was too.  He dropped me off with a friend in the cities and he went on the next day for the tournament.  We went to a concert, shopped, ate out, danced, and went to the lake.  Just what I needed!  Gavin's team ended up getting first place in the tournament which is a pretty big deal as they had a lot of good teams and pitchers there.  It was a late night Sunday, but worth it to get a away from our stress at home for a few days.   
• Marriage update:  This moving business is hard on a marriage.  I think neither of us thought the other one was doing enough and there was so much to get done.  Tuesday, Gav got home from work and told me that had I really picked it up this week.  I work best under pressure I guess!   He must have forgotten that I was finishing a grad class the week before too.  Whatever.  Change is hard and we have a lot at once and more coming.  We'll get through, but that last week was tough.  
• Baby-making Update:   We got the information about a possible donor on Monday.  I read through it that day and Gavin did after work.  This would be her 5th time as a donor.  She is healthy, a little taller than me and slightly more green eyes, but looks a lot like me.  This is according to the  coordinator; we don't get to see a picture.  The best part for Gavin, is that she sounds really athletic.  Which I am not and we always joked that hopefully our kids are more coordinated than me.  She is a personal trainer for a job and graduated with a degree in exercise science.  How funny is that?  On Tuesday I called the coordinator and accepted the donor.  We have a match ladies and gentlemen!  I also increased my thyroid meds on Tuesday and they will check in a few weeks to be sure it's enough.  They think the need for a dose increase could be stress related.  Really?!  Gavin went to the cities for softball again this weekend.  He is going to stay and work from the office there on Monday so that he can "do his part" at the clinic.  This will be for a sample to freeze in case we get to the real thing and he is sick or has broken both his arms or something!  They will also do an analysis on the sample and blood work.  
• The dilemma:   I can keep secrets for other people, but not so much about me.  Pretty much as soon as I started the blog, I told my mom, sister, sister-in-law, aunts, and close girlfriends about the blog.  They are probably the only ones that read it actually!  Now that we have the money in the bank and a donor match, things can start rolling for the IVF cycle when we are ready.  I was struggling with the decision to put dates about our plan on the blog or keep that a secret.  When we did IVF on our own, we didn't tell anyone.  I think I told my sister "sometime in the winter" and our parents probably had a guess because they knew about when I was giving myself shots.  Not telling is nice because then people don't keep asking about it.  Then, when it didn't work, we just told the people we wanted to.  It's also a little stressful to keep it a secret.  If we keep the dates a secret, what will I blog about and a main reason for the blog is to document the journey.  So, I've decided to keep blogging and share dates on here. ** I trust that the people I've told about the blog understand that we don't want everyone and their brother to know about the timing of our IVF cycle.  The friends and family that I told about the blog are also the people we would tell about the success or failure of this cycle.  I hope you keep following with prayers, because here we go people!
• Dates:  Now that we accepted the donor, the next cycle the clinic does is in September and we've decided to go ahead with this cycle.  Don't worry it won't be the first week of school!  The donor and I both will start taking birth control pills on Sunday to get our cycles in  sync.  Other meds and information will be coming later on.  We have a trip to California with Gavin's family planned in August.  I'm thinking after that trip, I will start backing off the drinking and caffeine and try to eat a little better.  This summer has been bad, kind of like I'm 22 or something.  Sure has been a fun summer though!  Then, I can also tell the people that we won't share the dates with that I am just trying to get my body ready for "maybe" doing a cycle, but nothing specific.   
• If you read all this, wow!  thanks!  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.  - Sarah       

Packet in the mail

And that packet is 14 pages of information about a possible egg donor!   The donor egg coordinator, "J,"  called me back this afternoon.  I have to increase my thyroid medication, my numbers are higher than they should be.  No other blood-work information has come in yet.  And yes, the packet she mentioned in her message yesterday contains information about a possible egg donor!  On the phone she said that the donor has a little more green eyes than I do (mine are more blue), but looks a lot like me.  Big green eyes, long lashes, brown hair, and she's really cute!  Ha!  This will be her 5th time going through the process as a donor and they really like her at the clinic.  She must have really good eggs and many success stories.  That's all I know for now.  The packet will have more information like medical history, education, career, etc.  After reviewing the information, we will decide to chose her as a donor  match or can pass too if we don't think it's right.   I am excited to have another step in the process done, but it's a little overwhelming to be packing, moving, working on a grad class, and getting ready to leave for the weekend again.  My emotions are all over the place tonight.