Transfer Day & Thank You

Yesterday was our IVF transfer with our donor eggs.  We arrived to the clinic at 7:45 to check in.  I took my ibuprofen there and the embryologist went over the how the embryos were doing with us.  Donna had 11 eggs, 9 of those were mature enough to fertilize, 8 fertilized, 2 didn't make it to 5 days, leaving us with 6.  Two of those made it to 5-day blastocysts, and 4 were still growing and can hopefully be frozen today.  They recommended transferring the 2 blastocysts (graded 3BB and 5BB) as long as we understood the chances for twins.  They were very clear that there is a no return policy!  I cried when she was going over everything with us.  That's the moment when things were feeling very real, our babies.  I dressed and got ready and waited a bit for the doctor.  He went over the process and said they are beautiful embryos, and I got into position.  He first looked and took measurements of my uterus and lining.  Lining was thick and I have a 3 stripe pattern that they look for and said that the meds are working.  He asked Gav if he's been giving the meds and we told him the story about the rest stop the night before.  He hadn't heard that one before!  Then, he puts in the cathedar and waits for the embryologist to bring in the babies in.  They waited until cramping was gone for me, and in they went!  Everything went smoothly.  I cried again and the doctor said he is optimistic, but we need to keep our guard up.  He is so honest and understanding of what we've been through.  That's what I like about him, he acknowledges that it hasn't been easy making the decisions to bring us to this and he says it.

We went back to our hotel and laid around and rested for awhile.  Instructions are to take it easy for 2 days.  Then, we went to meet my bff for lunch because she happened to be in town for a wedding.  Gavin realized on our way to lunch that he lost his wallet.  We're hoping that is our bad luck for the trip.  After lunch we headed for home and got back around 6:30.  Cramping was gone around 7:00, but was feeling tired and rested for awhile.  We went to our friends' who live right behind us for a bonfire last night.  I came home after about an hour, Gavin stayed late as he hasn't been able to party for awhile!

So that was our day.  Now, it's the hard part, waiting.   When we did IVF in 2010 on our own, I was a wreck.  We try to forget about that time.  For example, I remember crying on New Year's because I couldn't find anything to wear.  By crying I don't just mean a few tears, I was a wreck, we barely made it out.  I'm hoping this time will be different.  Other things in life are so hopefully that helps.  The last time was around the holidays, we were keeping it a secret, I was younger, it was rushed, etc.  It doesn't help that I'm all jacked up on hormones though.

I think I will take a break from the blog during this time, unless I have something else non-fertility to share.

Now, for thanking all of you, my family and closest friends, and maybe a few readers I don't know.  I had no idea when I started this blog and being more open about our plans, how much support and love it would bring our way.  Thank you for the text messages, phone calls, emails, cards, "coded" facebook messages, gift cards, inspirational gifts, trips for ice cream, wine nights on the deck, and prayers.  It's getting us through and we know however things turn out, you will all still be here to get us through again.  We do feel a part of our life is missing without children; but we do know how blessed we are.  THANK YOU!

Always, Sarah

We're Here!

We just got to our hotel.  We both worked full days, packed up, and were on the road.  Of course I still needed my shot at 7:00 so we stopped about half way at a rest stop.  I ran in to use the bathroom while Gav finished getting our hotel for tonight.  Then, he ran in while I got my shot ready.  He gets to the car and it goes something like this:

I kneel on the front seat and get my pants down a bit (shot goes just below the hips).  Gavin pokes, pulls back to check for blood, and starts the shot.  It takes a bit of time because it's a thick oil.  Here comes the maintenance guy (maybe 65) but I can't stop and get my butt down at this point, Gavin is in the middle of my shot, so they chat...

Maintenance guy: "how do you like your car?"
Gav: "like it a lot"
MG:  "what year is it?"
Gav:  "2012"
Me, still kneeling:  "2011" (like it mattered)
MG:  "just bought a 2009 with 35,000 miles and really like it, I can see out great"
Gav:  "you'll really like it on winter roads"
MG:  "yeah, nice looking vehicles."

And pull out shot, and we are back on the road.  Can't make this stuff up folks.  Wish I had a reality show so you could have seen it.  I text my sister-in-law a shortened version and she said we sure have stories to tell the little ones someday.  

I've been pretty stress free this week as it doesn't really feel real yet.  I know the hard days are coming after tomorrow.  I had my first tears today though as my good friend at school wished us well at the end of the day.  She knows the waiting will be the hard part and has already offered to help out if I need it the next few weeks.

Tomorrow is the big day!  We check in at 7:45 and transfer is scheduled for 8:15.  Keep praying!

Trust

Well the doctor and nurses are forcing me to trust them.  Today I had a message saying that the embryos are "looking good."  Why can't I know how many eggs they retrieved and how many embryos are still growing?  I want more information!  At least I know something is going on, and knowing wouldn't change anything, I guess.  Maybe it would just give me more anxiety to know, so I'll move on.  I also keep thinking that the other clinic told us everyday how the embryos were doing, and well; they sucked.  So this has to be the better way.

We will get full report cards on Friday at our transfer as far as how many there are and how good they look.  This is when we will decide how many to transfer.

I also need to really trust my husband right now.  Trust him with a 1.5 inch needle to my ass every night for the next few weeks.  Last night he had a training session with my mother-in-law, she's a PA.  It is handy living here I guess!  Tonight, he's trying on his own!

Thanks for checking in!

Trip #1

Our trip to the cities for Gav's turn was quick, no pun!  He had to work for a couple hours Saturday morning and then had a golf tournament for work.  We didn't leave until about 6:30 and arrived at a friend's house around 10:00.  We hung out for awhile even though it was a really early morning.  

We were up by 5:15 this morning.  I was asking if Gav was excited to give it to Donna on the way there!  This is the only time I will allow this cheating business.  You do know it doesn't happen like that right?  It doesn't really count as cheating if it happens in a petri dish is how we feel.  I guess it was a little early for my humor, because I was the only one giggling!  We were on the road for home right after, because what were we going to do before 7 am?  When we got home, we tried to take a nap and then went and had lunch and watch football.   We toasted our bloody mary's to "my only bloody mary of this football season," hopefully!

I've checked the message system to see if there was a report for Donnna, but no news.  I'm guessing she was in an hour or 2 after Gavin. During that hour or 2, his sperm was washed and spun and the good guys picked out.  She would have been put under for the eggs to be taken out.  We considered sitting in the parking lot and watching for her, but decided it wouldn't be a good idea.  I suppose there isn't a message yet today because they are busy putting everything together.  

This week we will continue to pray and wait.  Wednesday I will  know what time my appointment will be on Friday.  I assume we will be heading back on Thursday night.  Thanks for checking in!  

Sarah

Now We've Got a Plan

We finally had a message this afternoon at about 2:00 with a plan.  I was too busy at school to worry about leaving tonight or packing, so that was good my mind was busy.  However, not a good busy at school.  I am wore out from the first week back with kids.  Quite the week with one kiddo in a fight, another with lots of behaviors, lots of bus issues, and another who whines like he is a baby.  Anyway, you didn't stop by to hear about my week at school; to the plan!

Donna will give her HCG shot tonight.  Well, she probably already did because Gav has to be at the office at 6 am on Sunday morning.  Yes, you read that right, 6 am!   Not excited about the early morning, but I guess we can't be picky.  Have I ever mentioned Gav is NOT a morning person?  Still no word on numbers of follicles, but praying Donna's ovaries have been busy.  That's why we're paying her the big bucks!

This all means that it will be my turn at the clinic on Sept. 14.  Not sure of the time yet, but I'm guessing we will leave Thursday night.

Meds will stay the same until Sunday.  Then, I start the fun stuff of progesterone inserts and Gav giving shots in my backside.  Which I thought he would be looking forward to, but he commented last night that the meds haven't made me crazy since changing to the estrace pills.   He's so sweet!

Keep the prayers coming!  We ARE all in!

Sarah

Not Much For News

I was in this morning for an ultrasound.  My lining is 8 mm, which is where it is supposed to be.  I will up my meds tomorrow as planned, nothing extra.  Donna was also in and looking good.  Still no numbers or dates; I'm starting to get anxious.  I thought I could start planning for when we will be leaving town.  They will take another look at Donna on Friday and then we will know when to leave and the rest of our plan.

Two days of school in and its going ok.  I will be tired out by Friday.  Not used to these long days!  Love my new kiddos, and my challenging kiddo from last year, still challenging.

Will post on Friday with hopefully some actual news!  It hasn't sunk in that this is happening.  Still feels like we are just getting set up, not like we are right in the middle of it all.  Keep praying for the best!

Sarah

"Bitter or Better; Weaker or Stronger;" and some updates

Last week for teacher workshops we had a speaker on the last day.  Every year, they bring someone in and usually it is really boring.  This year, the gal I teach next too (& good friend) had our laptops along, hoping to get some work done during the speaker.  We didn't even take them out of our bags, he was so amazing.  He's an author and award winning speaker.  He told stories about his life and I think anyone could relate to his stories.  He was inspirational to the start of our school year, but his words could really relate to any part of life.  Some of the time I was thinking about school, but come on, I have bigger things on my mind!

The thing he said that stuck out the most was something his mother told him about going through hard things in life.  For him, it was divorce.  His mother told him that we can come out of the tough things in life:  bitter or better, weaker or stronger and she prayed he would be better and stronger.  Great message!  Praying that whatever our outcome is this month, we are better and stronger for it.  He had many other great messages and I cried of course several times (damn meds) and I want to get his book.

Just a few updates from the weekend:

I went to my brother and sister-in-law's on Thursday night.  On Friday morning, I took my nephew, their black lab, and my dog home to my parents for the weekend.  Trip went smoothly (they all slept).   I spent the Friday with my grandma and nephew.  Grandma had a dr. appointment and she is doing well, visited my mom at the pharmacy and met the pharmacist who was helping with all my meds about a month ago.  Grandma took us to lunch and then we went to see my grandpa.  Great day with them and so fun to see my nephew Howie with them!  Saturday, we went to my aunt and uncle's cabin to see more family and friends.  Not the best lake weather, but so great to see everyone.  They are all following the blog and thinking of us, so that was great to hear.  Sunday was church and then back to my brother's, and then home last night.

Donna the Donor had an appointment on Friday.  The message system said that day that things were progressing nicely and I should continue with my med plan.  She went in again on Sunday.  Things are  progressing REALLY well and she may be ready earlier than we originally thought.  I will go in on Wednesday instead of Friday for an ultrasound to make sure my uterus is keeping up with her eggs in case things go down earlier than planned.  They may increase my meds if needed.  We are happy with Donna's progress, but I haven't gotten any numbers yet.  They just keep saying things like "progressing nicely" and this is "good news," but I'd like to know how many follicles and size, but maybe they will share that on Wednesday.  Just have to trust the doctor and nurses, and be thankful that everything is going smoothly.

I will update Wednesday night!

Sarah