How Did Daddy Do?

Several people who visited and called after Bayden was born asked me this.  I had never thought to ask our friends or family this when they had babies, but now I will; it's daddy's day too.  Bayden's daddy did great.

He was calm and told me everything was going to be ok after my water broke and I was scared as they were hooking me up to the monitors and an IV.

He rubbed my back through each contraction that morning.  Once I think he said to just let him know if I didn't want him to do something; maybe thinking I might yell, "STOP TOUCHING ME!" like in a movie.    

He held my leg when I was pushing.  He cut the umbilical cord.  He stayed with Bayden when they had to take her to the nicu and took pictures.  He said how great I did to me and to everyone he told the birth story too.

He let our friends and family know she was here and when and how to visit.  He took care of paperwork things, took things home, brought things to the hospital.

That first night when company was all gone and it was the 3 of us in the nicu, he was holding Bayden and told her he loved her and then told me it was the first time he said that, like he wanted to remember that moment forever.  He did the same thing the first time he gave her a kiss.  He told me he went back and read my very first blog post that day and he told Bayden how 17 months ago we decided to go all in because we wanted her so bad.  He had his hand on her little arm and said how he remembered from our childbirth class that any skin to skin contact is what she needs.

Now that I'm home, I can tell he is trying to balance how he reacts to my emotions.  Sometimes telling me I've got to be strong and reminding/lecturing me to take care of myself,  other times just hugging me and letting me cry, and sometimes getting me to laugh about it later because - did I really cry the other night because I couldn't get the drain closed to take a bath?

I always knew he would be a great dad, but to see him now is better than I ever imagined.

P.S.  Gav had looked in the envelope and knew we were having a girl all along.  He never told me and never let on that he knew because he knew that's how I wanted it.  In the end, I'm glad he looked because he'd been working harder than I knew on picking a name for her.

Birth Story Part 2

Here is the rest of the story!

So that am.bian helped me sleep a little, but it also gave me some pretty crazy dreams that I thought were real, but as the day went on I started to realize that it couldn't be.  I woke up a lot during the night with contractions.  I may have pushed the nurse button a lot, or it could have been a dream, still not sure about that.  I also thought that they gave me a shot in my arm for pain that had 4 big needles go in all at once.  I also told Gavin at about 7 that they were giving me mor.phine every hour into my IV bag.

I must have really hit the nurse button around 7 am because I woke up to about 6 people in the room including the doctor.  Or they could have just come in from watching my monitor.  The doctor was telling me things that seemed important and I was trying to focus, but also trying to think of a good time to interrupt and tell someone to wake up my husband.  The doctor said that there was no holding anything off, contractions were here and baby would be coming in the next 24 hours.  "Honey, wake up!"  He checked me and said I was 4 cm and 100%.  This doctor wasn't going to be on call anymore, but said the next doctor would be in to check on me and deliver.

Everyone left and I woke Gavin up.  We made a few phone calls to our parents and to work.  I  had to also call my part time job and tell them, I don't think they even knew I was pregnant.  Oops!  I was planning to take care of that this week.

The next few hours I labored through, not even realizing that it was true labor.  The nurses had mentioned my choices for meds, but I thought that was something for later, people do this for like 18 hours I've heard.  I wanted to save meds for later.  The most comfortable position for contractions for me was standing and bending over my bed which was put up high, then I would kind of rock side to side and Gavin would rub my back.  I had a lot of back pain and they said this was probably because she was face up for awhile.  My nurse and her student nurse were awesome and always checking in.  The doctor was in surgery and would be in soon.

Sometime during this, a nicu nurse came in to explain their role in the birth.  A nurse and respiratory specialist would be in the delivery room and ready to check baby and take baby to the nicu to see the doctor.

Around 11:30 the doctor came in to check me and I was thinking I would be about 5 or 6 cm.  I was 9.5 cm!  More equipment was suddenly in my room.  No time for an epi.dural at this point, they said I could have a mini ep.idural (not sure if that's what it was called) or pain meds in my IV.  I asked if pushing would be more painful than what I have been doing, just realizing that I have been in actual labor for hours.  The doctor said some people think pushing is less painful or feel relief.  At this point, a needle in my back wasn't something I wanted to do and the meds in the IV would make me feel drunk which didn't appeal to me either.  I couldn't decide and look to Gavin, of course he is just in shock that I've made it this far and isn't going to decide for me.  The nurse said she would go get the IV meds and I would have about 10 minutes to decide.  Sounded like a plan.  The doctor started getting dressed, and I was going into the bathroom again, I felt like I had to pee all the time.  I had a contraction on my way and they said I had to get back in bed.  They checked again and I was 10 cm and ready to push my next contraction.  The doctor said to try a few pushes without the meds and I could always have them later.

Contractions came and I started pushing.  I had long breaks in between contractions to rest up for more pushing (4 - 8 minutes in between).  Next thing I know, it's a girl, born at 1:07 pm!

They put her on me and said to keep her crying.  Gavin took pictures.  All I could think, "I'm a mom and I was so grateful"  After a minute or so, the nicu nurse had to take her and they did some of her checks in my room and Gavin took some more pictures.  They said she weighed 5 lbs 9 oz and I was so happy she was big for being early.  They took her to the nicu to see the doctor and Gavin went along for pictures.

The doctor worked on me (placenta and stitches).  She used words like "amazing" and "rock star" because it went so smoothly.  No one would ever describe me as tough so I can't believe I didn't need meds.  I just thought, "my body wasn't made to get pregnant, but it sure was made to have babies."  I said I should have counted my pushes, because it seemed so fast.  The nurse went back and looked at my monitor and said it was 5 contractions, 15 pushes.

It sure wasn't how I pictured it, but it was so great and we couldn't be happier.  She is our miracle and we love her so much.

Birth Story Part 1

Bayden is 1 week old today.  Here is the beginning of her arrival.

A few weeks ago at one of our childbirth classes we did an activity in which we were given about 20 cards that had different options and possibilities during childbirth and the hospital stay.  On the back was the opposite (ex. vaginal / c-section, breast feed / formula, epidural / no epidural, early labor at home / at hospital,  etc.).  We laid all the cards around a card that said healthy baby with the sides up that were in our ideal birth plan.  Then, the instructor said that things were changing in labor and to remove 6 cards that we could live without.  She had us do this several more times until we were left with 3 of our choices and a healthy baby.  The point being that things don't always go as planned and all that matters is a healthy baby in the end.  Looking back, this was a great activity for us.  We were just starting to think about our birth plan, we had 6 and a half more weeks.

It all started last Wednesday.  It was a regular day, I went to work early for a meeting, taught all day, and then stayed after school to meet with a parent.  Then, I picked up supper to bring to the hospital to hang out with my sister.  We ate, talked, watched tv, and I painted her toenails.  Then, I went home to hang out with Gavin for a couple hours and went to bed.

last picture of  me pregnant

I woke up at about 10:30 to wetness and ran to the bathroom saying, "what's going on?" "is this my water breaking?"  Gavin followed me saying that I probably wet the bed.  I said I was still leaking and I'm not controlling it.  He went to check the bed and said it was quite a bit.  We asked his mom because she used to be a labor and delivery nurse.  She said we should call in.  I talked to a nurse on the phone and she said to come in just to be sure.  I continued to feel leaking on the drive, but kept praying that I was still peeing my pants.  

They set us up in a little room and a nurse explained the process to check and see if my water bag had ruptured or not.  She said it will be a little uncomfortable because she had to have a qtip like thing inside me for a whole minute.  When she was done, I said that it didn't feel like a minute.  I guess she didn't need a minute, she was pretty sure my water had broke.  She came back about 15 minutes later saying she was calling the doctor, my water had broke.  I started crying of course thinking it was too early and baby was too small.  Gav was calm and just glad that I was home.  I had been traveling across one state and then another the past 2 weekends.  

They moved us into a bigger room and got me set up with an IV, antibiotics, and monitors for contractions and baby's heart rate.  The doctor arrived and we were happy the doc on call was who we had had our last 3 appointments with.  He said that they will monitor me for infection, but if I keep not having contractions I could stay like this for another week or so.  They did a quick ultrasound to make sure baby was head down.  He had a hard time finding her because she was so low, but head was down, but face up.  Gavin went home to get some things beings we didn't bring anythink.  He brought his work computer so he could work from the hospital and things for me to do because we thought I would be on bed rest now like my sister.  Silly us!

They gave me an am.bien to help me relax and get some sleep.  Poor Gavin wanted something too so he could sleep better in that chair that pulls into a bed.  We went to bed around 3:30 am thinking tomorrow we would be hanging out in the hospital.  

Day 2 Update

Just a quick update.  They took Bayden off the airflow last night at 7 and she was able to stay off, breathing all on her own like a good girl.  I will be discharged sometime late this morning. Not sure how that will go.  Hard to leave without her, but we'll figure out a routine.  It's not not how we planned it, but what has been in this journey.  All that matters is she's here and we are a family of three!  Here is a picture from yesterday; she keeps getting cuter!  Thanks for checking in.

It's a Girl!

Bayden Christine arrived on April 18, 2013 at 1:07 pm.  A little early and unexpected but we are doing great.  She weighed 5 pounds 9 ounces and was 18.5 inches long.  The nicu nurses already say she is a feisty red head!  Life is so good!

30, 31, and 32 Weeks

Sorry, I've been gone so long again.  My excuse lately is, my sister's in the hospital so things are really busy.  I'll try and catch you up on the past few weeks.  Time is flying and the end is in sight.

Little one should weigh about 3.75 pounds by now and  has toenails, fingernails, real hair, and is starting to plump up during these next 8 weeks.  I think baby is laying at an angle because I get some good kicks higher on my right side that must be feet.  If I wear a tighter top, people tell me they can see where the butt is.

Mama is feeling good and I'm thinking I will be sad to not be pregnant.  I could be feeling this way because we just got home from our second childbirth class where they talked about meds, epidurals, c-sections, etc.  Starting to get a little nervous about all that.  Over Easter I went home to my parents.  I got to see a lot of family and we had a shower with family and friends from back home.  Of course it was a little sad because it was supposed to be for my sister, sister-in-law, and me; but one mama was missing.  We got lots of nice things for our little one and it was so fun to celebrate these four babies.  Then, this last weekend I went to stay with a friend in the cities and had a fun visit with her.  Now, I will be done leaving town, at least by myself until the baby comes.  Weird to think I won't be back home to my parents without a baby.

I think Daddy is also starting to think about how baby will enter the world.  He's hoping for an exciting story.  Like, I call him while he's coaching first base at the state softball tournament and tell him my water broke.  He's been busy with coaching softball, but not outside because our spring is still pretty much winter right now.

Sister:  May as well add her to my update!  She is hanging on to those babies so that's good news.  She was on a magnesium IV for about 24 hours to stop contractions Easter weekend and this past weekend they had her on an IV of fluids because she was dehydrated.  Babies are still growing and weighed 3 lbs. 5 oz and 3 lbs. 9 oz at Friday's ultrasound.  Hopefully things stay like this for a few more weeks.

Here are a few pictures too!  Thanks for still checking in.  I will try to update more often.

31 weeks; Happy Easter!

32 weeks

Baby Shower at hometown church

2nd cousin and me at shower

See what I mean by still being winter?  My nephew, Howie, Easter  weekend at the farm.

Me and sister-in-law missing my sister at our shower

Sister's shower at the hospital.  My parents were in town and we brought all her presents up.  

Infertility Flashback

I've been thinking about our infertility journey before the egg donor decision and before I started this blog.  It gets harder and harder to remember the things we've been through.  So, I decided to post a few of the stories that have stuck with me, were harder than others, or are maybe even a little entertaining.

This flashback is from probably May 2009.  I know it was towards the end of the school year and I know it was before we did IVF.  We were in the middle of an IUI cycle with injections.  Things were going well and I had a monitoring appointment before school one morning.  I had a couple mature follicles and the the nurses would be leaving me a message with instructions later that day for the next steps.  I went on to school and then worked a track meet with some of my students after school.  Must have been a wild and busy day at work because I completely forgot to check the messaging system for my plan until I got to my car that evening.  I call, not worried at this time, thinking I would do my trigger shot the next day.  I listen and start to panic as they say I will do my trigger shot that very evening.  I am in a panic because I haven't picked this trigger shot up from the pharmacy yet and my pharmacy is closed, it's too late.  I pull over and call the doctor on call and tell her that I don't have my shot and the pharmacy is closed.  Keep in mind we have already spent a couple thousand dollars on meds and appointments at this point, possibly for nothing if I don't have that shot.  She said that the pharmacy at the big hospital is probably still open, but not for long.  She calls the prescription in there and I start racing to the hospital.

I make it with minutes to spare, quick park, and go running like a crazy person into the hospital and ask the receptionist where the pharmacy is.  As she's telling me, I go running in that direction.  She calls out that they are probably closing.  I remember running around a corner and seeing the door closing from the top like a garage door.  I yell out something, maybe "wait" or "stop" and dive under the closing door.  I scared the crap out of the two gals closing up their things.  I say how sorry I am and close to tears explain my situation about the meds I need.  They turned their computer back on and give me my prescription.

My heart was still racing as I got back to my car and drove home.  It must have been a Tuesday because I remember calling Gav at his softball game and telling him what just happened.  I think I probably called my mom and my best friend because I couldn't believe how close our cycle came to being cancelled.  I got home, gave my shot that night and we probably went in 2 days later for our IUI.  I remember thinking, "it's got to work this time, think of the story we would have about the adventures of making this baby."  Of course two weeks later we got our negative and that was that.  Can't say I didn't try though!

Yesterday after work, I walked some of the same halls at the hospital.  This time, not for meds, something way more important, my sister.  Yesterday she was admitted to the hospital (the hospital in my big town, not her little town an hour away) and put on bed rest.  She is thinning and dilated to 1 cm.  She will be on hospital bed rest until the babies come.  Hopefully the babies don't come for awhile, she is almost 29 weeks right now.  Babies and sister are doing well, but please keep her, her husband, and babies in your prayers.  Pray that the babies hold on and keep growing, pray that my sister stays healthy, that her body cooperates to keep the babies on the inside, and that she keeps her sanity laying in a hospital bed away from home, and pray for my brother-in-law's safe travels back and forth every few days.