Tuesday, February 5, 2013
We've Got Movement
Saturday morning I was laying in bed reading and I felt our little one, finally! Felt like a bubble moving or sliding around. As the day went on, I felt it a few more times. A little more movement Sunday morning and each day since then. It's the greatest feeling in the world and I just keep thinking how I wasn't sure if I would ever feel this. Hubby is a little jealous, but hopefully he can feel our little one soon.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Do I Think About the Donor?
Thank you "No Good Eggs" for finding and following my blog and for commenting. On my last post you asked if I think about my donor, so I decided to post about it. It made me reflect on this part of our journey and I appreciate that. All my best for your upcoming cycle!
I first started to think about our donor when we got the packet of her information in the mail last July. We read through it several times, memorized parts of it and decided to go ahead with the match. We even named her Donna the Donor to make it easier to talk about her. As the process got going last summer I thought of her often: Was she taking her meds? Was her body responding? How were her check-ups going? Was she feeling ok? Is she as cute as me? I wasn't worried about her taking care of herself like eating right and exercising, because she's a personal trainer so I figured she was doing a better job of that than I would do. I think Gav just kept thinking "thank goodness she's probably more athletic than my wife as a personal trainer." When it was the day of her retrieval, we joked about hanging around the clinic parking lot to see if we could see her and tell her to do a good job.
Then, the day of the transfer came. The embryologist brought in the embryo information and went over it with us. I thought of her then as I heard how many eggs they retrieved and how many fertilized. I cried because I was expecting more. I wasn't mad at her, but it wasn't how I thought it would go. Now, it doesn't really matter. Then, I was in the stirrups and the embryos were in me, it wasn't her anymore, in that very moment. It was Gavin, me, and our babies. My body was in charge now. Honestly from that moment, I haven't thought about the donor. It's like my mind and body just took over in caring for this baby, it was mine. Of course we are so grateful for what she put her body through to give us this pregnancy. Our clinic supports and will help in sending a letter when the baby comes and we will do this. I can't imagine how I will put into words what she did for us in a thank you note, but we will do our best.
I have thought that when the baby comes, I will think about the donor again. I think my mind and my body take over again. I'm not worried that I will have any regrets. I think I will think about the donor when people ask who the baby looks like, but I won't feel hurt. This is our story and I'm not ashamed, I'm proud that we took a chance for our family; that we went all in.
Gavin has said a few times that he's worried that I will feel different when the baby comes and he's worried it will be hard for me. I'm not sure if he thinks I'll just be staring at the wall, crying, rocking, and mumbling, or what he thinks. I try and reassure him that if I was ever worried, I would have never gone ahead with this.
A few weeks ago, a fb friend posted baby pictures of her, her husband, and their baby all at about the same age. I did think, "wouldn't make sense for us to do this one." It didn't make me sad, just made me smile.
I first started to think about our donor when we got the packet of her information in the mail last July. We read through it several times, memorized parts of it and decided to go ahead with the match. We even named her Donna the Donor to make it easier to talk about her. As the process got going last summer I thought of her often: Was she taking her meds? Was her body responding? How were her check-ups going? Was she feeling ok? Is she as cute as me? I wasn't worried about her taking care of herself like eating right and exercising, because she's a personal trainer so I figured she was doing a better job of that than I would do. I think Gav just kept thinking "thank goodness she's probably more athletic than my wife as a personal trainer." When it was the day of her retrieval, we joked about hanging around the clinic parking lot to see if we could see her and tell her to do a good job.
Then, the day of the transfer came. The embryologist brought in the embryo information and went over it with us. I thought of her then as I heard how many eggs they retrieved and how many fertilized. I cried because I was expecting more. I wasn't mad at her, but it wasn't how I thought it would go. Now, it doesn't really matter. Then, I was in the stirrups and the embryos were in me, it wasn't her anymore, in that very moment. It was Gavin, me, and our babies. My body was in charge now. Honestly from that moment, I haven't thought about the donor. It's like my mind and body just took over in caring for this baby, it was mine. Of course we are so grateful for what she put her body through to give us this pregnancy. Our clinic supports and will help in sending a letter when the baby comes and we will do this. I can't imagine how I will put into words what she did for us in a thank you note, but we will do our best.
I have thought that when the baby comes, I will think about the donor again. I think my mind and my body take over again. I'm not worried that I will have any regrets. I think I will think about the donor when people ask who the baby looks like, but I won't feel hurt. This is our story and I'm not ashamed, I'm proud that we took a chance for our family; that we went all in.
Gavin has said a few times that he's worried that I will feel different when the baby comes and he's worried it will be hard for me. I'm not sure if he thinks I'll just be staring at the wall, crying, rocking, and mumbling, or what he thinks. I try and reassure him that if I was ever worried, I would have never gone ahead with this.
A few weeks ago, a fb friend posted baby pictures of her, her husband, and their baby all at about the same age. I did think, "wouldn't make sense for us to do this one." It didn't make me sad, just made me smile.
Monday, January 28, 2013
22 Weeks
22 weeks and 1 day today, and shit is starting to seem real folks! Just took a little over half the pregnancy. I think it is starting to sink in because plans for summer are starting to pop up and I'll catch myself thinking about planning something and then suddenly think, oh wait we'll have a baby then. This summer we won't be able to last minute go to a baseball game and drink beers in the sun all afternoon. Well, we can but we'll have to find a sitter, pump, and I don't even know what else would go into that kind of day. Here's the scoop for 22 weeks!
Little One: Weighs about 1 pound and is about 11 inches long. His or her eyes are formed and tiny tooth buds are developing beneath the gums.
Momma is feeling great and loving being pregnant. Heart burn and bloody noses are the only pains. I've gained 18 pounds since starting meds. While this pregnancy is finally feeling real, I still have fears. Today I bought 2 huge boxes of diapers because they were on sale but had thoughts of what I would do with all these diapers if something goes wrong. I almost put them back and thought about coming back after our appointment. Will that ever go away? Nothing sounded better than hearing the heartbeat again today. I still have no movements to report that I know of; and that's what everyone asks me. So I have to break it to people and say about 10 times a day how I can't feel anything yet. Doctor said any day now.
Daddy: Things are getting real for daddy too. He's really thinking about the budget and it sounds like my 5 year shopping spree that he calls it is coming to an end. He also seems to think that we will just sit around and not leave the house all summer with a new baby. I'm trying to explain that you can bring a baby places.
House hunting: There are finally some houses on the market in the last week or two. We've looked at 4 so far, none to get real excited about but we're hoping it's a sign that more and more will be coming up for sale.
Little One: Weighs about 1 pound and is about 11 inches long. His or her eyes are formed and tiny tooth buds are developing beneath the gums.
Momma is feeling great and loving being pregnant. Heart burn and bloody noses are the only pains. I've gained 18 pounds since starting meds. While this pregnancy is finally feeling real, I still have fears. Today I bought 2 huge boxes of diapers because they were on sale but had thoughts of what I would do with all these diapers if something goes wrong. I almost put them back and thought about coming back after our appointment. Will that ever go away? Nothing sounded better than hearing the heartbeat again today. I still have no movements to report that I know of; and that's what everyone asks me. So I have to break it to people and say about 10 times a day how I can't feel anything yet. Doctor said any day now.
Daddy: Things are getting real for daddy too. He's really thinking about the budget and it sounds like my 5 year shopping spree that he calls it is coming to an end. He also seems to think that we will just sit around and not leave the house all summer with a new baby. I'm trying to explain that you can bring a baby places.
House hunting: There are finally some houses on the market in the last week or two. We've looked at 4 so far, none to get real excited about but we're hoping it's a sign that more and more will be coming up for sale.
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| 22 week bump |
Thursday, January 24, 2013
And Then There Were Four...
Four grand-babies in one summer that is! Word is out and it's safe to share that there will be 4 new babies on my side of the family this summer. My sister is expecting twins you probably remember, and my sister-in-law and brother are expecting in July making my nephew, Howie, a big brother. We found out at Thanksgiving and my dad kept saying how crazy next year will be. It will be wild, but I am so happy that our little one will have cousins so close in age. Here we are partying at my parent's a few weeks ago, drinking our NA beers. Congrats Brock, Robin, and Howie!
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Sunday, January 20, 2013
20 Week Vacation
The app on my phone said last week that I should do something to celebrate the half way point of pregnancy. My trip to NV last weekend was perfect timing. Sorry if this post is boring, but my family that reads I'm sure will like to see the pictures. I went with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to visit my parents where they winter now. The weather wasn't what we were hoping for, but it was still a lot warmer than being at home. It wasn't like the last time I was in NV, being pregnant and all, but we had a great time. We did a little shopping, ate out, played cards, got pedicures, met my parents new friends, and laughed a lot. We also entertained my nephew by visiting a duck pond, a children's museum, and a park. Of course I did a little gambling, which I say is the only naughty thing I can do anymore! My parents made sure we had a good time so we'll come back next year.
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| Mom trying to lift me at the children's museum! |
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| Family at the museum |
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Half Way
This post is a little late, on Sunday we were at 20 weeks, half way there!
Little One: Is about the size of a banana and weighs a over 10 ounces. His or her digestive system is busy practicing for life on the outside this week too.
Momma: According to the baby app on my phone, I should have gained 10 pounds by now. I am ahead of schedule in this area. Great. I am currently at the same weight I was at in my second year of teaching, when I lived all alone and didn't do much besides snack, my big days. From here on out, I will gain about a pound a week. Hmmm.... I'm feeling great, but have just one complaint, heartburn. I didn't even know what this was 5 months ago, but it's been bothering me at night lately.
Daddy: I'm not real sure how daddy is feeling this week. With me being gone for a long weekend and something going on every night this week, I haven't seen him much. I do know he missed the little one and me while we were gone because he said, 4 nights was a long time, you're never gone for that long. He is definitely noticing that baby and I are growing!
Little One: Is about the size of a banana and weighs a over 10 ounces. His or her digestive system is busy practicing for life on the outside this week too.
Momma: According to the baby app on my phone, I should have gained 10 pounds by now. I am ahead of schedule in this area. Great. I am currently at the same weight I was at in my second year of teaching, when I lived all alone and didn't do much besides snack, my big days. From here on out, I will gain about a pound a week. Hmmm.... I'm feeling great, but have just one complaint, heartburn. I didn't even know what this was 5 months ago, but it's been bothering me at night lately.
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| 20 weeks, me and baby in Vegas! |
Daddy: I'm not real sure how daddy is feeling this week. With me being gone for a long weekend and something going on every night this week, I haven't seen him much. I do know he missed the little one and me while we were gone because he said, 4 nights was a long time, you're never gone for that long. He is definitely noticing that baby and I are growing!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
A Baby Girl
Everyone has guessed that we're having a girl except for one person. People are making their "educated" guesses based on the little one's heart rate, my pulse, and even a math formula based on my age and the month of conception.
Did you think that we opened the envelope? Ha! Thought I would get people excited by the title! Just wanted to write a post about what people are guessing. I actually don't even know where the envelope is, Gavin put it somewhere and it's not bugging him to look anymore either, or maybe he already did.
And for a few random updates:
We looked at a house tonight after work. It was well over the budget, but we like the neighborhood, and I thought it would make me feel better to look at a house, lift my spirits that we will someday we will be homeowners again. Gav didn't want to go because of the price. He was worried I'd fall in with it and he would have to break my heart. Turns out it wasn't a great house on the inside so he was worked up for no reason.
I'm heading down south to see my parents, the snowbirds, tomorrow. Of course, it's supposed to cool down while we're there, but it will still be warmer than up here. Excited to see them and for them to see the little one. Talk to you for a 20 week update in a few days, half way!!!!
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